by Susan Detwiler | Jan 13, 2017 | nonprofit
It’s common parlance to refer to ˜the same old tape we play over in our heads.‘ The phrase comes from the time (remember it?) when we used cassettes and 8-tracks to replay the same songs over and over again. It is a fitting metaphor for the implication, since the phrase actually references an old technology.
The same way those old tapes we play in our heads recall old situations and old behaviors.
Every time we encounter a person we’ve known for a long time, old tapes start playing. We know what the person believes and thinks, and how they will behave. There isn’t any need to ask questions, since we assume we already know the answers they’ll give. Our response to their behaviors falls into patterns, as do their responses to ours. It’s a great shortcut.
But what if that old tape is no longer current? Stretching the metaphor further, what if there’s a great new cover for the song? The theme song for the original show One Day at a Time, This is It, was performed by Polly Cutter in a bouncy, upbeat genre, very fitting to the 1970’s “ 1980’s period. The new version of the same theme song, now sung by Gloria Estefan, is updated to fit the times. The Latin beat is different, while the underlying bones of the song are the same.
When we encounter someone we’ve known for a long time, the old tapes may no longer reflect who that person is now. They are still the same person, but they’ve learned and experienced new things. They’ve developed new ways of thinking. Their responses to situations are different.
If we don’t take the time to get to know who they are now, we continue playing the old tapes, and they respond with their own old tapes.
This has strategic implications for boards and group dynamics.
When board members or participants in a group think they know each other very well, what’s really happening is that they know what the old tapes sound like. They make assumptions about what the others around the room believe, think, feel and know, based on those old tapes. As a result, some topics of conversation are avoided or ignored, or they are cyclical rehashes of old arguments, originally recorded years ago.
These tapes tether the group to the past, and hinder building a new future together. Interrupting those narratives takes conscious effort, but it’s worth making that effort. Genuinely knowing the others around the table helps create trust, crucial in building consensus around decisions. The new knowledge about each other opens up participants to new ideas.
Questions interrupt the narratives we tell ourselves.
Questions are key to learning new things about others.
Asking questions elicits new knowledge that may contradict or augment those old tapes. In groups that meet regularly, such as boards, it helps to begin each meeting with a question that gives each participant the time to share something new. In groups that meet infrequently, or in retreats, more time is needed. Old tapes have had plenty of time to become habit so set aside time specifically for getting to know each other.
What can you learn about each other that may surprise you? What can you learn that will change your assumptions about each other?
Questions interrupt the narratives we tell ourselves.
Questions alter the tapes we play.
Questions open us up to new possibilities.
Facilitated meetings make it easier to ask these questions. For more tips about changing group culture, building an engaged board, and strategic planning, follow me at www.detwiler.com, or reach me at sdetwiler@detwiler.com.
by Susan Detwiler | Dec 12, 2016 | nonprofit
I grew up on Star Trek “ not just the show, but the idealistic vision of a future in which a United Federation of Planets could boldly go where no one has gone before, seeking out new life forms and new civilizations. Conquest was wrong. Help was right. People got along.
I once had a conversation with my son about the original Star Trek, and how it differed from subsequent versions. In the original Star Trek, each show was a parable, a small morality tale, in which we were being taught about right and wrong. True, the writers were sometimes (often?) heavy handed with their messages. Nevertheless, through the interplay of the emotional Kirk, the logical Spock, and the pragmatic and sometimes cynical Bones or other characters, we saw different sides and different approaches to the same situation. Usually, the resolution came about through some combination of the first two, aided by the actions or intervention of the other characters.
I wonder how many nonprofit executives and philanthropists received their initial grounding in the possibilities of a better world through watching Star Trek. Is the idealism that surrounds so much of our work the product not just of faith and parenting, but also those small glimpses into a better world? Like M&Ms coated in sugar candy, the ideals were coated in action, costumes, and amusing interplay between characters whom we came to know and predict. We thought we were just watching a fun show, but we were being molded.
In retrospect, I suspect that I was affected by Star Trek; not just by the shows themselves, but by the implicit approval given to those messages by my parents as we watched together.
Looking around the table at board and staff meetings, do you know what has molded your colleagues? We now have four generations working and serving together. What television shows, books or movies formed their ideals? What are their cultural touchpoints? Through what lenses do they view the world?
A good board is not homogeneous. Each member brings their own history and ideals. What would it make possible if you were to create time to explore these cultural references together? What bonding might occur? Might understanding and then trust increase as the conversations unfolded?
Business can occur mechanically, or it can occur in an atmosphere of trust and camaraderie. Would could you accomplish if you took the time to learn about each other before embarking on the future?
Note: portions of this post were originally posted May 22, 2009.
by Susan Detwiler | Feb 8, 2016 | governance, leadership, nonprofit, Strategic Planning
You probably spent time and money developing a strategic plan. Your board voted to approve it. Perhaps a board committee created it; maybe your executive director and senior staff.
Where is it now? That big report sitting on the shelf isn’t going to do your organization any good if it’s not a living document.
When did you last pull out the strategic plan and track your progress toward your goals? When was the last time the board spent more than 10 minutes discussing that progress?
It’s a lovely plan, but¦..
A plan without discrete steps, a timeline and accountability isn’t a plan. It’s a wish list. Here are a few tips for maintaining your progress, so that 3 years from now you can look back and say, We did this!
- Make sure you have the will to accomplish the plan. This may seem obvious, but it’s often the first pitfall. It’s a lovely plan, and really, this is what we want to accomplish. But¦..we don’t have the money; the time; the people; the skills¦..whatever. If you truly commit to the plan, then you find the money, the time, the people, the skills. It may not happen immediately, but it will never happen without making that commitment.
- Make sure that someone is accountable for each step of the plan. They may not be the person who actually, physically does the work, but someone has to be on top of whether it happens or not. Otherwise, everyone thinks it’s someone else’s job.
- Have those accountable people regularly report to the board. The entire board voted to move ahead with the plan; the entire board should be invested in whether the plan is being accomplished. If you have to report regularly, then you get it done. If it’s not done, then here’s your opportunity to talk about how to get back on track.
If anything is certain, it is that change is certain. The world we are planning for today will not exist in this form tomorrow. Phil Crosby
- Regularly set aside time to discuss the overall progress, not just individual steps. Is the plan still relevant? Do new circumstances warrant changes? No matter how good your plan is, you can’t foresee everything that might happen in the course of three years. The government may cut funding. You may receive a huge bequest. Some new research may come to light.
- Celebrate the milestones. It took a lot of work to craft the plan. It takes even more work to execute it. Recognize that work and what you accomplish. Tell your stakeholders about your progress. Let these celebrations create momentum to lead you to even higher heights.
Engage your board in keeping the strategic plan a living document. It may sit on a shelf, but it won’t get dusty. You’ll regularly reference it in board meetings, and watch the progress toward your goals. Potential board members will see your commitment, and want to be a part of your growth.
Theodor Herzl wrote,
If you will it, it is no dream. And if you do not will it, a dream it is and a dream it will stay.
The first step is commitment. If you have the will, you can accomplish the rest.
by Susan Detwiler | Dec 31, 2015 | nonprofit
This year, I resolve to stay focused on our cause and our mission.
- In the past year, we have spent too many hours talking about finances.
- We’ve spent too many hours focusing on what we lack.
- And we’ve spent too few hours remembering why we care about this very worthy organization.
This year, I resolve to aspire to the greatest heights, instead of focusing on what we cannot do.
- I will work with my peers to build a plan for achieving that aspiration.
- I will work with my peers, staff, volunteers, clients, and community members to execute that plan.
- And I will tell everyone about the plan, so they can join us in supporting this goal.
Because a vision without a plan is just a dream. An aspiration without the time, talent and treasure to make it a reality will never come about.
But first, I resolve to stay focused on our cause and our mission. Without that vision in front of us, we will once more spend our year focusing on what we lack, and not on what we can achieve.
Happy New Year! May this year be a year in which we all aspire to our highest heights.
Let me know what you’re planning for 2016! For help with that plan, or to find out more about our work in strategic planning, contact me at sdetwiler@detwiler.com.
by Susan Detwiler | Nov 19, 2015 | nonprofit
This Thanksgiving, I am thankful.
I am thankful for the United States of America that welcomed my grandparents 100 years ago. Because they were welcomed, I am here, and able to build a life that allows me, my husband, my children and grandchildren to live freely.
I am thankful for the people who fought to allow Eastern European refugees to come to our shores. Because of them, we have had the privilege of receiving the work and wisdom of Albert Einstein and Madeline Albright.
I am thankful for the country that welcomed Marco Rubio’s parents, and Donald Trump’s mother, allowing the son of Cuban immigrants and the son of an Irish immigrant, to aspire to our country’s highest office.
I am thankful for the people who allowed Armenian refugees into our country. Because of them, we have the largest company in the world, Apple, which revolutionized electronics and was founded by Steve Jobs.
I am thankful for the officials who work to ensure that each person who comes to our shores is properly vetted, and for those in our military and police who defend the United States against those who seek to harm us.
I am thankful for a country that protects its citizens – and protects the values that have made our country the reason so many want to come here.
And I am thankful for you, whether you work for, volunteer for, or sit on the board of a nonprofit. You deliver your mission by looking beyond the risks of today so you can create the future in which we all want to live.
What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?
by Susan Detwiler | Aug 31, 2015 | nonprofit
It’s that time of year. Nonprofit organizations are asking their board members for their annual financial commitment. Yet despite the obvious need of almost all organizations, according to one survey, an astonishing 55% of organizations reported that they did not have 100% board giving.
But foundation executives and major donors expect 100% participation of nonprofit board members. In the words of an executive of Piper Charitable Trust,
“We wouldn’t consider a grant to an organization if the directors weren’t 100 percent in their giving. Why would we? If they don’t care enough for their organization to give to it, why should we?
There is no excuse for not making a financial contribution to any organization that you’re on the board of.
But I give time! That counts for something!
Yes, your time counts for a lot! I am very, very grateful to all the leaders who give of their time so freely to work on the board. Our social sector absolutely could not function without the volunteers. Your labor, your thoughtful discussions, your planning are crucial to building the world we want to live in. The organizations that benefit our community rely on you. As a member of society, I am very grateful to you for standing up and being part of the fabric of our society.
Yet volunteers can give time without being on the board. The difference is YOU are a leader. And leaders lead the way with their gifts, as well as their time. You, dear board member, lead the rest of the community by example “ not just with your time, but with your treasure, as well.
But not all our board members are financially able to give a lot of money!
Wow. This is such a caring objection. It almost trumps the 100% giving mandate. I hear you “ and I agree with you. Those unable to give a lot of money SHOULD be included on the board. A strong organization needs to have a wide variety of voices represented on the board. Those who are wealthy – and those who are not – bring unique and diverse perspectives.
But the 100% requirement doesn’t name a dollar amount. It just says that a board member should give. If board expectations are set appropriately when you first invite the new director, then the expectation is that each board member gives a personally meaningful gift. To a successful attorney, it might be personally meaningful to give a $10,000 annual gift. To an early childhood teacher, that personally meaningful gift might be $100 per year.
A good rule of thumb is that while you are on the board of an organization, it is one of your top three or four philanthropies.
Leaders lead by example. Be able to say, I give. Please join me.
Would you like some help moving your board along the giving continuum? I’m happy to have a no obligation conversation! Reach me at sdetwiler@detwiler.com
Susan
Susan Detwiler
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